[I LOVE the blog Badder Homes & Gardens, so I was delighted when BH&G's real-life-adorable-and-snarky Nikki agreed to share her recent experience with cross stitch. She talked me into my very first cross stitch get-together, so you KNOW I must like her. Nikki turned out to be my STAR PUPIL! Who knew? xo julie]
Cross-stitch? I’ve never even had my hip replaced! I’m not a card-carrying member of AARP! My pubes are still their natural shade! Well, you get the idea. Cross-stitch is for people that eat LuAnn Platters at 4:00 in the afternoon. Not super rad cat lovers that still watch Golden Girls. What. Fuck. I’m it. I was first introduced to the idea of not-just-for-Gammies cross-stitch while writing a blog called Badder Homes & Gardens. Okay, that’s a lie. Maybe. I bought the Subversive Cross Stitch book before I ever knew Julie Jackson was from Dallas. (And you know the state that executes together, stays together. THAT’S SARCASM.) So Julie was my gateway drug. But once I knew this whole genre of rad ass shit out there I couldn’t be stopped. Well, I could actually because I’m a buyer, not a do-er. So I got the book and tried to cross stitch, but it wasn’t right at all. The book went on my shelf and became the 9,000th project I’d complete someday alongside decoupage-ing, shadow boxes, making Jello and other highly challenging activities.
A year or two went by and it finally dawned on me, “Wait a minute, I know Julie Jackson and that B could teach me to stitch.” So we threw a party with pizza, mini bundt cakes/butter catchers, booze and iced coffee. It was the best night ever and I learned all the tricks of the trade. Namely, separate out the embroidery floss. You don’t need ALL the strings, just two. That’s it. I just revealed the secret to the universe. Was that anti-climatic? If so, re-read it and click this: http://youtu.be/bjxf-eQWKoo. Daaamn, right? And someday soon-ish I will actually complete my “Don’t Be A Dick” stitchery. Seriously. I will. Get off my back, you’re not my mom. Besides, I’m almost done with the shadow box I started in January. Almost.